Just A Little Pain
by Melis
Summary: Why? Why did it have to hurt so much? Why couldn’t he just forget this? This little pain? Things were as they should be, he had no right to complain or mope. This was his, this little pain...was his bond, his connection to Zack...and Aeris...
1. Chapter 1

1_**A Little Pain...**_

_** A Little Pain...**_

_**By: Melis**_

The breeze was gentle today, swaying the leeves of the trees above. The sky was calm, grey and white, the sun shining between the thick clouds, though still there, making the day warm, though looking like it may rain. He didn't mind, he liked the rain, it washed everything away...well, almost everything...

A lot had happened since that time, so long ago when he had faced off against Sephiroth for the second time. He was still with his friends, seen them often and lived along side them, all creating their own unique family, the heros of Midgar and the world, a bond that would last for all eternity. However...two new additions had been recently added.

It was all so strange how everything had played out, so perfectly. Aeris was back now, was alive and breathing. Cloud couldn't have been happier, had raced outside of Midgar and to the flower maidens favored flower field, the one he had always seen her in his dreams. He had found her easily, had literally let his bike hit the dirt as he dashed though the thick waves of yellow, petals scattering here and there. His heart stopped when his eyes met hers, watched as she too ran to meet him.

His body had acted on it's own, tears at the edge of his eyes as he reached her, throwing his arms open, catching her small frame in his them as she leapt up, holding her to him in the embrace they had waited for, for so long. He spun with her in his arms, the breeze sending flower petals about them, made the moment all the more real, all the more powerful. For a while he thought perhaps he had lost it, but her scent, her warmth, her voice, it was all there, all real, holding her in his arms, that was real too.

He was complete now, the part of his heart that had been ripped away suddenly there again, making him whole, like he had seen the sky for the first time. Everything was brilliant and beautiful, new, a new day, a new beginning. She was here, he was here, they were together, nothing would stop them now, not their new life together or their future...and then...

And then, lingering slightly to the back was another figure. Cloud had still been holding the petite flower girl to him, was still taking in her scent and warmth when he saw the movement.

At first, he was wary, sure they were a threat, and was damn sure not going to let them do anything to ruin this moment. Tightening his hold on her, he tensed, then stared, shocked and wide eyed.

The figure was male, and built at that. He dawned a deep midnight blue uniform, the shoulder pads and belt alone signifying their alliance to Shin-ra. The male approached slowly, his spiky black locks swaying in the breeze as he continued towards them, his eyes such a brilliant blue, infused with Mako...

_**...Zack...**_.

Cloud loosened his grip on the flower girl, gazed off at his friend who stood a few feet away.

The two stared at one another, Zack smiling, open and friendly, contrasting Cloud's sudden torn expression.

"Zack..." he spoke, barely a whisper.

"It's been a while, Cloud." spoke the male, sounding as he always had.

The two continued to look at one another, Zack flicking his eyes some, to catch Cloud's arms about Aeris' frame. Cloud noted the glance, feign back some, Aeris looking to him now.

"It's ok Cloud." she spoke, her voice shooting his heart into action.

Cloud looked to her, noting their reunion had suddenly taken a strange turn. He stared at her now, trying hard to push the hurt aside, the fear, Aeris searching his vivid eyes, gently touching his pale cheek with her hand. Cloud closed his eyes, resting his hand on hers.

And then he was moving, pressed past her to reach his best friend, the one he had lost so long ago, the one he wanted to see so much, to apologize to. Zack was already there, the two embracing now as well.

Aeris watched, smiling at the two, gently wiping a tear from her eye.

"You...you were both there...always..." spoke Cloud, felt Aeris at his back now, embracing him as well.

"We'll always be there Cloud." spoke Zack, gently patting his friend's shoulder.

"From now on, we'll always be together." sang Aeris, Cloud smiling.

"Yes..."

That had been then and this was now. He was glad to have both back, especially Aeris. He had long to see them for so long, had so much to say, to tell, to ask...Aeris was the first to put a stop to that, noting that Cloud had never had a reason to be forgiven in the first place, however, gave in as he was so adamant about punishing himself over her death.

"I never blamed you..not once." she told him over and over, as they sat beneath the same tree, his head in her lap as she stroked his hair.

"But I..." he began, hushed by her finger upon his lips.

"Shhh...everything is alright."

He stared up at her, taking in her beauty as she repeated over and over again, how much she cared.

And that was the problem. Aeris. Well, not so much the flower girl herself, but his feelings for her. It was one thing for him to show affection towards her around the others, but Zack was there, Aeris' true first love and more or less, her official boyfriend, not to mention his best friend. Things were complicated now, very complicated. Cloud felt himself falling for her all over again, and the harder he fell, the more his heart ached.

_**...this is bad... **_he thought, resting his elbows against the edge of the surrounding white balcony.

The problem was fairly obvious; Cloud could not show or have feelings for Aeris. Simple as that.

Of course, that was easier said then done. He couldn't help but long for her touch, her embrace. Everything about her was beautiful, perfect. It was strange how Tifa had backed off upon Aeris' return, how her opinion didn't matter to him anymore, at least not in the way it once did. He saw the Centra always, but what hurt the most was watching her with Zack.

True, they were not affectionate as couples might be, but just watching them look at one another, just knowing that they had what Cloud wanted so bad, it killed him inside, was truly the most painful feeling he had ever felt.

As if that wasn't enough, the fact that Cloud _loved_ her, that he wanted to be with her so much and with his best friend _right there...!_ Terrible! Simply terrible! He had no right to think such things, feel them, not after everything he had put them through, had caused them both so much pain and suffering. They forgave him, but now, he couldn't forgive himself, not for feeling like this, not for wishing things to be different, that he were in Zack's place, that he could be the one to protect her, to hold her. It was wrong, so wrong, and above all else, Cloud did not deserve it, not even slightly.

_**...disgusting...**_ he thought.

_**...I'm so horrible...**_

He lowered his gaze, looking below the large hill at the grass below, the strands small, gently hugged the rocky wall.

Why? Why did it have to hurt so much? Why couldn't he just forget this? This little pain? Things were as they should be, he had no right to complain or mope. This was his, this little pain...was his bond, his connection to Zack...and Aeris...

A palm on his back made him gasp, his eyes wide as he straightened, looking back at the figure behind him.

"What's up Cloud?" spoke the black haired male, his mako eyes brilliant in the sun's light.

Cloud held his breath a moment, before exhaling. Slowly he closed his eyes, turning to face the endless field of green.

"Nothing..." he spoke softly.

It was silent a moment, before his friend joined him, Zack also resting his elbows against the edge of the balcony, following the blonde's gaze, both their hair following the flow of the wind.

The silence was truly deafening, both seeming lost in thought. Cloud glanced at Zack out the corner of his eye, noted he looked relaxed as always, his lips pulled back into a content smile.

Cloud looked away.

He lowered his eyes once more to then green below, trying hard not to think, to feel, tortured at being near his friend when he was thinking of _her._

"Aeris is quite fond of you."

Cloud blinked, wide eyed, wiping his head around to stare at his friend.

Zack stared back, tilting his head some, watched as Cloud searched his face for traces of doubt, or cruel intentions.

"You think so?" asked Cloud turning to look away again, trying to keep his voice even as he composed his expression.

Zack listened for a moment, smiled some to himself as he spoke.

"Yeah. It's hard not to see it. You're all she talks about." he said with a chuckle.

Cloud blinked, gulping some, felt his cheeks heat a bit, a twinge of happiness storming his heart.

"It's kinda cute." added Zack with a wink.

Cloud looked to him once more, again searched his face for any hint or sign that the opposite male was begin cruel, saw nothing but innocent teasing.

"Yeah..." spoke Cloud softly, looking out once more.

The silence fell between them again, Zack taking a deep breath and exhaling.

"I wonder...how she feels about you." spoke Zack, Cloud tensing a bit.

_**...what...?**_ thought Cloud, suddenly feeling annoyed at his friend's attention on him.

"I'm sure it's nothing..." spoke the blonde.

Zack assessed this, shaking his head slightly.

"I don't"

"It doesn't matter." spoke Cloud too quick, Zack looking to him.

"It does to me."

"She has you."

Zack waited a moment, raising his chin some, noted Cloud's lowered eyes, felt the hurt in his voice, looked away.

The breeze had picked up, but was once again dying, the air sweet with the smell of rain, the rain that would soon fall upon them with the coming storm in the distance.

"I guess the real question is...how do you feel about her...?"

Cloud froze, shocked, wondering if he had heard his friend correctly or not. Slowly, he turned to meet his friends waiting gaze, Zack's expression curious...and serious.

Cloud stared, did all he could to keep his expression composed, knew the horror and shame had been fully exposed in that one moment when he had let his guard down, his lips parted, looking like he had been caught in the act.

_**...stop that...!**_ his mind snapped, quickly pressing his lips into a thin line, felt the heat at his face fading, his expression again cool and collected, doing all he could to hide the painful truth, from Zack and himself...

"I...Like her." Cloud spoke, being slightly offhand.

"Everyone likes her Cloud." stated Zack with a sigh.

Cloud nodded, though didn't reply.

It was silent again, Cloud and Zack staring off, both lost in thought. Cloud felt sick, not just for liking his best friend's girl, but for possibly stealing her from him. On top of that, he was so pathetic, he couldn't even_ admit_ to his fault, too embarrassed, too weak to even think of taking Zack on. He would lose. There was no question about that. He couldn't compare to his friend and he was sure Aeris felt the same.

"You're wrong."

Cloud blinked.

"You don't like Aeris." spoke Zack.

Cloud frowned some, but said nothing, opting to let his friend think what he wanted.

"You're in love with her."

Cloud froze, tensing now, his eyes wide, breath coming short as the words sunk in.

_**...he knows... **_

And of course he would! It was so damned obvious! The way Cloud looked at her, acted with her. It was her, it had to be her. No one would ever, ever come close or compare. Not Tifa, not anyone. He knew that, but even so, could he? Would he have the power, the will to say it? To tell her that? To tell _Zack_ that? Of course, not that it mattered now. The black haired youth knew pretty damn much how Cloud felt anyway. What was even worse was the fact that_ he_ had said it aloud, while Cloud couldn't even find his voice to admit it himself.

"Am I right?" urged Zack, elbowing his friend lightly.

Cloud frowned, leaning away some as he turned her gaze in the opposite direction.

"Ah, I'll take that as a yes." added Zack with a sigh.

Cloud stayed silent, trying to keep his expression in check, to keep the hurt and horror intact. This was bad, really bad. Cloud had never really planned to let his secret feelings for the girl be known, not to mention that if it ever did come to that, Cloud wanted to admit it aloud, to be the one to say it, rather then be told. It was sad really, that Cloud was still so weak, so afraid, that he couldn't admit it himself, say it and fight for her as a real man would, as Zack was. This alone spoke volumes, made him truly feel undeserving of her and her love.

"Well, it's to be expected." started Zack, Cloud blinking.

"I DID end up breaking our promise after all." added the black haired youth, scratching the back of his head with a sad smile.

"That's not true." spoke Cloud.

"You didn't mean to do it. It wasn't your fault at all. It was...mine."

His voice faded at the last part, became all but a whisper, too hard to say the awful truth, to bring to light that he had caused his friends so much pain, had ruined their future, destroyed their hopes and dreams because of his weakness.

"Cloud." began Zack.

Cloud shook his head lowering his gaze now.

"It was me. I did it. I did it all." he started, shaking his head back and forth as if trying to clear it.

"If only I had been stronger back then, had been able to fight..!" continued the blonde male clenching his fist until he was sure the knuckles were white.

"Enough Cloud." Spoke Zack walking towards his friend, but Cloud had taken several steps back, had his hands up as he continued to shake his head, grip his heart, as if moving his fist was enough to break him.

"I'm so sorry Zack, I'm so sorry I-"

"I said Enough!" roared Zack, Cloud's eyes wide frozen now as his friend glared fiercely at him.

It was silent for a moment, Cloud moving his lips into a thin line.

Zack continued to glare, his fist clenched, resting on the white railing to their right.

Then he closed his eyes, expelling a long sigh as his expression became pained, as well as sad, shaking his head lightly.

"It's enough Cloud." spoke Zack quietly.

Cloud just stood, silent, lowering his gaze once more, unable to take the overwhelming force of his friend's eyes.

"Is it?" asked the blonde haired youth.

Zack blinked.

"Is it really enough? Is it really okay?" asked Cloud, looking to his friend now, his voice a bit higher as he spoke.

Zack blinked once slowly, nodding.

"It is."

"You don't mean that!" shouted Cloud.

"I do."

"No you don't!"

"Why can't you just trust me?!" shouted Zack, his glare back in place now, though, this time, Cloud did not look away, instead he too wore a glare just as dangerous.

"I do trust you damn it! But you're making a huge mistake right now!" answered Cloud, swinging his arm out some as his emotions began to flare.

"Why? Because I'm stepping down to let my best friend have the girl he loves?" asked Zack turning his palms toward the sky as he gave a slight shrug.

"The girl I stole from _you!_ Doesn't that bother you at all!?" asked Cloud taking a few steps toward Zack now, true disbelief on his face.

Zack noted the steps, shifting his position some, though, raised his chin as he spoke.

"Yes and no."

Cloud froze, blinking.

"What?" he asked.

Zack waited a moment, frowning some as he turned, pacing while he scratched the back of his head.

"I mean...on one hand I'm happy you've found someone." started Zack, pacing still.

"On the other, I'm a little upset it happened to be my girl." he added, continue to pace, though flashed Cloud a slight glare.

"But, looking at this logically-" he started, Cloud cutting in.

"There is no logic here."

Zack glared.

"_Looking _at this_ logically_...it all makes sense." he spoke, raising his hand to stop his friend's protest.

"For one, I _did_ break out promise. I didn't come back like I said I would...even though...I would have given...anything to see her again." said Zack, his expression towards the ground, was pained with a sad smile.

"But..." he began, closing his eyes before looking up to Cloud.

"Then she found you."

Cloud blinked, not sure what Zack was aiming at.

"I'm nothing compared to you..." Cloud whispered, his gaze low again.

"You're wrong."

Cloud looked to Zack, Zack beyond serious.

"You were there for her. You protected her throughout the entire ordeal with Shin-ra with Sephiroth-"

"I failed Zack. You and I both know that." stated Cloud, closing his eyes as he shook his head, the vivid flashbacks of Sephiroth impaling the flower girl on his Masamune still fresh, still there.

"That wasn't your fault." spoke Zack, taking a step towards his friend.

"He would of had me do it myself."

"But you didn't-"

"That's only because of Barrett! Had he not called my name I would have easily been the one standing over her!" stated Cloud glaring feircly at the ground.

Zack froze, his series expression still intact, though his eyes were wide as he took it all in, saw what Aeris had seen, knew what Cloud said rang true. This bothered him like never before, knowing what Hojo had done to Cloud, that Sephiroth's control was so strong, that everyone and everything had been so easily destroyed all at one man's hands. It made Zack sick and truly disgusted him.

"She's here now though Cloud." reminded Zack,

Cloud wanted to protest but couldn't find his voce, noted that was true, she was here and so was Zack, through some miracle of the Life Stream, of the Planet.

"You're here too." reminded Cloud.

"Everything...is as it should be." he added with a nod, Zack sighing heavily, shaking his head and closing his eyes as he rubbed his right temple.

"You're wrong damn it." growled the black haired male, pacing once more.

"You're here too. You matter. Your feelings matter, just like hers."

"And what about your feelings Zack? You're telling me you're okay with this? With letting her go?" asked Cloud looking to his friend now.

Zack froze looking to cloud, his expression serious once more as he nodded.

"I am."

"That's not true." Cloud spoke, shaking his head.

"It is."

"It can't be!" roared Cloud, rushing his friend now, grabbing a handful of the front of his uniform with his fist tugging him up some and towards him.

"You're telling me it's alright? That you can let her go!? She's so perfect and beautiful! And you love her too! So how, how can everything be okay? How can you not want to fight for her!?" asked Cloud his emotions bursting through, anger, confusion, jealously, envy, all were present as he lost himself to the chaos of his heart, Zack staring wide eyed at his friend, listened to his words, each a dagger, crushing his heart.

Zack narrowed his eyes as his listened, before he grabbed Cloud shaking him hard.

"I do want to fight for her!"

Cloud froze, eyes wide now, loosening his grip on the cloth.

"Damn it..!" spoke Zack shaking his head vigorously.

"I can't even begin to tell you how much that girl means to me! How much I want to hold her and protect her! How much I love her!" shouted the black haired youth, Cloud listening now, mirroring the same pained expression his friend wore.

"She means everything to me Cloud, everything! And her happiness means everything to me too!"

"She is happy with you!" shouted Cloud, Zack shaking his head.

"She was, but now, she's happy with you! Don't you see that?!" Cloud froze again, shaking his head some, Zack closing his eyes once slowly, smiling that same, sad smile.

"Don't you see Cloud?" he asked again.

"She loves you."


	2. Listen Closely

1_**A Little Pain...**_

_**Chapter 2:**_

_**??**_

_**By: Melis**_

_**...She loves you...**_

The words echoed in Cloud's mind, rang in his ears, made him feel dizzy, high.

His heart raced as he stared at his friend with a terrified expression, the realization of it all, the truth, hitting him hard.

_**...she loves...me...?**_

Did she? Could she? Was it possible for someone like him to be loved? After all the pain he caused? After ruining what could have been for her and Zack? Was it possible for someone like her, so pure, so beautiful, so perfect, to feel_ anything _for a misfit like him?

Cloud stared at Zack, his expression still terrified, still pained, his eyes searching his friends now, as if asking him to deny it, to help him. Zack only smiled.

"You realize it too."

Cloud clenched his jaw now, staring at Zack.

Zack stared back, tilting his head some as he raised an eyebrow, noted Cloud's hands had worked there way away from the collar of his shirt, were at his own sides now, his hands balled into fist, trembling.

Slowly Cloud lowered his gaze, closing his eyes as sadness swept his features.

"Zack..."

But Zack was there, his arm reaching around to rest against the boy's spiky locks, tugging him forward to rest his forehead against Zack's shoulder.

"Take care of her." he spoke softly, smiling now as he gazed at the sky.

Cloud wanted to speak, wanted to yell, to scream, to tell Zack that he was wrong, to tell Zack to fight, to not do this. He wanted to deny it all, wanted more then anything to apologize, to cry and tell Zack he was so sorry, but he couldn't find his voice, instead closed his mako blue eyes and nodded as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

"I will..."

The worse was over now. At least that's what Cloud told himself. Of course, that was untrue. Cloud's head hurt, as did his stomach, not to mention his heart. The truth was there now, there was no denying it.

After the brief moment with Zack, Cloud had stood, watched as his friend leaned back, smiling that familiar smile as he ruffled Cloud's hair. Then he turned and walked off waving some as he wandered towards the fields.

Cloud had watched, stood frozen, wanted to run after his dear friend, but could not move.

That had been sometime ago. Now, Cloud had wandered off to his favored tree, the one he often sat under with Aeris. He was alone, his back resting against the massive trunk, his knees pulled up to his chest, his arms around them while his chin rest atop them, gazing at the grass below.

_**...what now...?**_

What now indeed. Zack had stepped down, in hopes that Cloud would step up. But could he? Would he? Did he deserve to? Why did he have to hold onto this little pain? Why couldn't he just take the indicative, and do what his friend had asked? Why was it so hard?

He closed his eyes, lowering his head to bury his forehead against his knees, gripping at the pants of his uniform.

"Stay outside in the rain and you'll catch cold."

Cloud gasped, raising his head now, frozen.

Slowly he turned, saw her standing a few feet behind him.

"Aeris..."

The flower girl blinked, then smiled sweetly. She took a few steps to stand before him, slowly kneeling.

Cloud stared at her, his lips parting ever so slightly, his eyes searching her own, heart racing, tongue dancing behind his lips, eager to expel the words that wait behind them.

Aeris tilted her head some, reached out slowly to sweep her hand through is blonde locks.

"You're soaked." she noted, Cloud blushing at her touch as he lowered his gaze, sure his heart would burst from his chest at any moment.

"Did you fall asleep in the rain?" she asked.

Slowly Cloud raised his gaze to her, Aeris blinking some as his expression became pained.

"Cloud...what's wrong?" she asked, leaning in some, Cloud shaking his head as he looked away, Aeris's palm on his face now, gently turned it back to her as she looked at him worriedly.

"Aeris..." he spoke softly.

"Aeris...I..." he began, leaning in some, but stopped, flashes of Zack flooding his heart now as he stopped himself lowering his gaze once more.

_**...It's alright Cloud... **_echoed Zack's voice.

_**...take care of her...**_

Cloud swallowed slowly as he saw Zack once more, saw his smile, felt his emotions, felt everything, knew if he let something like this go, let her go, he would regret it and so would his dear friend.

Cloud raised his gaze to her now, determination in his eyes as he got to his knees before her, gently stroking her cheek, holding her hand with the other, leaning in.

Aeris blushed, bringing her chin to her chest some, lost in Cloud's burning gaze.

"Aeris...I love you."

Aeris gasped softly, wide eyed as she looked at him.

"I've...always loved you..." he spoke, his determined smile saddening some, becoming more gentle as he spoke, curling her hair about his finger.

"When I lost you, I lost...everything. I knew...exactly how Zack felt and it hurt some much." he continued, Aeris listening.

"And...even though Zack is here now...I don't want to let you go..."

Aeris blushed, watching now as Cloud tugged the strand of hair he had been playing with towards him, bringing it to his lips.

"I want to be with you...always."

He opened his eyes to meet her own, the fire raging within them, made Aeris lose her breath, made it hard for her to look away. She blushed deeply, forcing herself to looking away, bringing her hand to her chest.

Cloud waited, Aeris looking to him now and then with flushed cheeks, Cloud gently stroking them with his hands.

"Cloud...I..."

And he held his breath, frozen now, suddenly aware of what he had done, had said. How dare he! Had he even considered the poor maiden's feelings? Even if Zack was sure Aeris was in love with Cloud, Cloud was not convinced. Perhaps he had misinterpreted everything, had now cornered her. Perhaps she didn't love him and still wanted Zack. Either way, Cloud knew her next words would be all he needed, would make everything final and end this. A true final Fantasy.

He waited now as he held his breath, Aeris raising her mystic eyes to his as she spoke.

"I...I love you too..." she said, barely a whisper.

And Cloud breathed for what seemed like the first time, emotions sweeping over him now, rocketed his heart to life, the words like a part of a puzzle, filling the hole that had claimed a good portion of his life. They made him whole, made him safe. These simple words, spoken by this beautiful girl had saved him.

And he was there now, his arms about her, had pulled her fiercely to him as he embraced her.

"Aeris..." he spoke, his eyes closing tightly now as he pulled her closer.

"Aeris...!"

Aeris blushed, felt herself against his well defined chest, felt his arms around her, her own at his sides, frozen in his embrace, listening to him call her name, her heart aching as her expression became sad but content, closing her eyes as tears flowed, embracing him just as deeply.

"Cloud..."

This little pain was fading now, becoming more and more of a memory, but not the kind you forget. It was the kind you treasure. A precious memory that had kept him going these last few lonely years. The pain that had lead him back to her.

They held one another now, Aeris's head resting against his chest, tucked perfectly under his chin, Cloud's arms about her holding her close as his lips pressed into her hair, taking in her scent, her warmth.

The sky was clear now, the storm of earlier a distant memory as the sun shine brightly in the sky, its light waves covering the field of green, enveloping the couple now, as they gazed at the sky above.

Slowly, Cloud lowered his gaze, gently brushing Aeris's cheek with his palm. The flower girl blushed as she looked to him, Cloud dipping his head now, Aeris blushing, closing her eyes as his lips found hers.

And somewhere in the background, he could hear Zack laughing, knew his friend was smiling. He could here him. All he had to do was listen closely.

Fin

Okay, not sure where the ending came from but it came x.X I actually kind of like it but mind you Zack is NOT dead or anything. Cloud just heard the lil angel laughing somewhere in the field, because lets face it you know he was listening the entire time! XD I can't help but feel like Zack would support them. I can't see him as being the type of guy who would want to see the woman he loves, or his dear friend sad or wish them badly. I hope I did that with chapter 1, though it was kind of long and slow but I really enjoyed the conversation between the two, Zack and Cloud. Anyhow, Melis has to shut up now so she can write some more fan fics! Hope you enjoyed this baby, I know I did!!

-Melis


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